The jig is up. My license is about to expire, and I need to go renew it quick. I didn’t have time to go the eye doctor and send in the eye exam form, so I have to physically go to the DMV office. Why do I need an eye exam? I can’t see three feet in front of my face without my contacts, I don’t need an eye test to tell me that. This place was hard to find as well. The signage was terrible, and it was hidden in the corner of a strip mall inside a building. Why are they are trying to keep this place a secret.
After waiting in line #1 to get the form I need to fill out, they send me to line #2 to get my photo taken and pick up this numbered ticket.
I spend about 30 minutes in line #2. I make it to the counter, and they give me an eye test. Read line 7 they say. The letters are huge. If this is the minimum requirement, I’m scared.
#B791. Its gonna be a long wait. There is also a line #3, but no one really seems to know what that line is for. Some people get on that line, and I never see them again.
*Now Serving B680. This is going to be a while.
I don’t think there is any place in a world a NY state driver fears more than the Department of Motor Vehicles. It’s a mess of seemingly inefficient processes weighed down by an over excess of red tape and bureaucracy. Time seems to stand still while waiting.
*Now Serving B692.
Oh look, they bought a gaggle of people to the front of the line and WTF, ARE THEY ACTUALLY GIVING THESE PEOPLE LICENSES TO DRIVE?!?! The group they just escorted to the front of the line have probable mental issues and most likely shouldn’t be operating a motor vehicle. I suggest this because they have an obvious rage complex because they are screaming at the person behind the counter, accusing them of letting their license expire. In a way, I feel sorry for the DMV clerks, they must have to deal with some real winners.
*Now Serving B700
Look, I’m not one to judge a book by its cover, but I am pretty sure the applicant in question is a hobo, as she is dressed in rags, and I can smell them from about 30 feet away. The yelling continues. They tell the group they are going to have to go see a manager. Why do you need a driver’s license if you travel by stowing away in railroad boxcars?
*Now Serving B712
The silence is broken by Michael Jackson’s “Beat it”. The “Bad”, followed by “smooth Criminal”. It’s then I realize that they are playing MJ’s greatest hit CD on loop. It’s about now I start thinking I am involved in some sort of social experiment or reality TV show to see who cracks first. They’ll never take me alive.
*Now serving B720
Rage ensues. The hobo busts out a very large binder filled with legal looking documents and continues to berate the woman behind the counter. I bet the people in line behind them is really glad the docent bought them to the front of the line.
*Now Serving B753
It’s been a while since I have been to the DMV last. About two years ago I went to go get my motorcycle license, and it’s a stark difference from today’s scene. Now they have advertisements blaring from LCD screens above the various counters. Yes, ads in the DMV. But I guess NY state has to make up their massive deficit holes somewhere. You would think auto insurance companies would be all over this, and not local dress and formalwear shops.
*Now Serving B789
Almost there…. This is about the point that, like jury duty, I hopefully wont have to come back here for many years to come. It’s this glimmer of hope that’s keeping me going.
*Now Serving B791.
Finally. Two hours after I arrived, Salvation is close at hand. The guy behind the counter doesn’t say a word; takes my form, and prints out a temporary card. I check it over. Trust me, always do this. They got my first license wrong and it was a nightmare that haunted me for years and took forever to correct. The only words the guy says is “eighty eight dollars”. Seriously? When did renewing a license become so expensive? When I had a Florida license, I payed $26 online, and didn’t have to sit through any of this. Fun fact, you can actually make appointments in Florida DMV. NY state, you listening?
The entire transaction takes less than 45 seconds, and I’m done.
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