Life in the Cash Lane

I made a discovery today that horrified me. As I pulled into the toll booth on the Throgs Neck, I was wondering why the gate hadn’t yet tripped- I looked up, and my heart sank.

 

I then remembered where my EZ Pass was:  Firmly affixed to the windshield in my wife’s CR-V.

 

See, I have been gone for the last two weeks, and my car has sat in the driveway collecting mounds of bird crap and rusty rotors. I was out west for business, and then we took the kid on vacation, and loaded up her car. She let her EZ Pass tag expire, so we used my tag and GPS for the trip.

 

But you know what the worst part about this is? It’s a Friday. I need to add at least an hour of time to my commute tonight to accommodate for all of the weekend travelers who clog the cash lanes on their way to their weekend destinations. Have you ever attempted the inbound GWB on a Friday for the cash lanes? This is going to be a nightmare. This is of course if I remember to actually go into the correct lane, as my lane choices are pretty much an ingrained force of habit at this point.

 

Today I think we all learned something. First, it’s that EZ Pass is worth it. There is always a fight if it should be mandatory for metro NY’ers, and the answer is a resounding YES. After seeing what life is like without it, including the waiting, the higher prices, and the sheer frustration, I’ll never forget it again. Additionally, a lot of time spent idling and polluting the environment could be cut back if it was mandated.  I also learned that the NJ turnpike still uses tickets. Who knew? They actually charge me to drive one hundred yards from the beginning of the Turnpike to my exit ramp.

 

So look for me today -  I’ll be the guy sitting in line with all the minivans in the cash lane, the black car with all the bird crap on it. But that’s another story.

 

[caption id="attachment_423" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Today at the NJ turnpike. Until this moment, It had been about 9 years since I have actually had to snag a toll ticket. Shooting a picture while moving and taking a ticket a the same time as piloting a car through a toll plaza is actually a lot harder than it looks."][/caption]

The misguided life and times of Karen

Let’s get this out of the way up front - Karen was a spiteful bitch. Her demise is bittersweet. So while now I have to go out and spend money on a new GPS unit, I look forward to building a lasting relationship with a GPS unit that doesn’t take joy in my misery.

Here’s that back-story:  A few years ago, I got a new GPS unit, a Garmin Nuvi 650W as a birthday present. I loaded in the female Australian voice which Garmin named “Karen”. The name stuck. That’s was about four years ago, and this weekend, on our way to visit a friend up near Boston, her touch screen finally gave out.

[caption id="attachment_408" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Karen and me, in happier times"][/caption]

Since our first drive together, Karen and I have had our ups and downs in our relationship. She went all over the country with me in my travels, and found a home on the dash of many rental cars. She got me through Austin, Seattle, San Francisco, and Los Angeles more times than I can count. Sometimes she has bailed me out of some real sticky situations. She even once acted as a tattletale when a valet decided to take my car on a 143 MPH joyride.

But the good times are few and far between. I remember the time she dropped me in a field in the middle of Pennsylvania, about 30 miles away from my destination, not even in the same town. She had an uncanny ability to let me know I had to turn immediately after passing the street, and when there was no way where to turn around. No matter what, even if it was backed up for miles, she always wanted me to take the Long Island Expressway. I never understood why she would literally take me 5 miles out of the way to get from the Northern state to the LIE.

Anyone who has ever had the pleasure of a car trip with me knows about Karen and our verbally abusive relationship. I would yell. She would typically respond with “Recalculating – Make U turn” in her cool, emotionless voice. And then there was the time we got lost out in the Mojave and she started making up roads. Really, there was nothing on the map, yet she insisted on making a turn directly into the woods. She also had a knack for saying the wrong road names on major routes. Need to go somewhere near 27 / Sunrise highway? Instead she always called it the POW Memorial parkway.  While this was very confusing, her pronunciation of different Long Island road names was always entertaining.  Lane choices? She frequently enjoyed telling me to get into the far left lane on major highways, and letting me know I had to take a left exit in 200 feet. Cause that’s fun at 60 mph.  I really think she was jealous of my wife. It got so bad I was nervous to let her go on a trip with Karen without me for fear she would get her lost on purpose.

So now I need a new GPS. They have come a long way in the last four years, and now I’m looking at bigger screens, traffic updates, A/V inputs, and a unit that won’t try to murder me.

It’s never easy to say goodbye, but I have a feeling that her spirit will more than likely come back to haunt me.

 

 

On another note -  I'm starting to pull together a list of the a douchebag's favorite cars. Let me know if you have any input.

Car stuff I can't live without - Part 1

I guess since I am doing this whole blog thing, I have to schill some products every once in a while, right? I'll start today with Rain-X.

There some things I can't live without.  One of those things is Rain-X. The principle of its functionality is what makes it so great - The faster you go, the better it works.

It's a simple design. You apply a silicone barrier to your windshield and it beads away water when it's raining. But besides making it so much easier to see in the rain, it also makes bugs come off easier, as well as ice and snow. I also buy the huge  orange jug 0' Rain-X for wiper fluid that is good for -25 degrees. I guess sometimes I think I still live in Utica and need a -25 degree wiper fluid, but that's rarely the case anymore. You rarely get hit with a lake effect storm on the Northern State.

The downside? for some reason, your windows are more likely to fog up while using it. But this is a minor inconvenience given its benefits.  Also, don't use it on your rear windows or mirrors, because not enough wind hits this to be effective.

Try it, you wont be disappointed.

Up next in this series - PIAA's.

Electronic signs and the impatient commuter

Isn’t technology wonderful? It seems just a few years ago, we actually had to guess how long it would take us to go from point A to point B, and now we have these nifty electronic signs to tell us the approximate time to our destination – and sometimes they even work.

This entry is inspired by a road sign that I have been eagerly anticipating - the “average travel time to the Throgs Neck Bridge” (TNB) sign on the Grand Central parkway. This sign finally came on line at the beginning of this week, and to tell you the truth, I have mixed emotions.

On one hand, I am happy to have this reference just in case the Clearview (295) is totally backed up /flooded/on fire/closed/f. Everyone knows the Cross Island Parkway typically sucks, especially since the TNB caught on fire and the lanes were reduced, causing a daily clusterfuck of traffic for about 2 miles before the on ramp.

But then, I am angry that this sign is sharing my secret. The Clearview is an excellent road, and it’s typically the fastest way to the bridge because no one really wants to take it. Also, the CIP is about a mile beforehand, and drivers will typically encounter a wall of traffic between the two. But after seeing the sign, I think more drivers will move over to the Clearview because it’s shorter. I don’t want more cars on this road, and I hope they stay on the CIP. Here’s a sign I really would like to see.

I also found out an interesting thing today – this sign is accurate, and it is calculating distance from the sign, not from the start of the Clearview. So this sign actually takes into account the traffic beforehand. In order to do this though, it is important to note how these signs work- They respond to EZ pass tags or drivers, and then take an average. I am also pretty sure they have a minimum setting to confirm to speed limits. These “average travel time to…” signs are much more accurate than the old style of “traffic moving well to…” signs, that I have found myself sitting under at a complete stop more than one times.

But, like the red headed step child of New York it is, Jersey has to come out and screw it all up. They have one important sign. Just one – and that’s the one that says the average travel times for the different levels of the GWB. I have seen this sign working maybe twice in the past 8 months. And I know it works, so why isn’t it on? I mean, it was grossly inaccurate by at least 20 minutes in rush hour, but at least it was a good indicator of where you could waster more of your life sitting on that bridge.

Lots o’cars Broken Down since last post:  2001 Dodge Caravan, 2001 Nissan Altima, ~1997 Nissan Sentra, ~1997 Toyota Tacoma, 1999 ford Focus, 1994 Accord, mid 90’s Buick LeSabre

From CES 2010 - The Cars

Here i am, sitting in McCarren airport three hours early waiting for my flight. I expected security to be a nightmare, but apparently everyone is leaving tomorrow instead. Between all of the tech industry trade shows, me and the D terminal of this airport have spent many, many hours together.

Bit I digress. Today I finally was able to walk the north hall, where all of the car exhibitions were, and will post some photos. This year there was no one dominant model that companies tricked out. In years passed, it was 300C's as far as the eye could see, but this year, the range was all makes and models. And did i see the GT-R I was searching for? you bet. See you in a few months, Vegas.

Apologies for the point and shoot images, I couldn't lug my big camera out here.

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