I know an automotive blog isn't really the place to vent, but recently, me and missus haven’t been getting along. I understand
it was a long, cold and hard winter, and she tried her best to tough it out
with a smile. Alas, all of the potholes, salt and bitter cold really took a
toll on her this year. Admittedly, I have been a bit rough on her, but the mood swings are incredible; some days she is happy
to be given a vigorous workout, and some days she groans, bitches at me, and
phones it in for the day. A few times I even considered leaving her for a
younger, newer model, but I have way too much invested with her to simply cut
out. After all, we have been together for more than 100,00 miles.
It started in December, right before the holidays, which is typically
a stressful time for couples. She wouldn't go more
than 30 miles per hour without hiccupping, and sputtering as her ignition cut
out and the revs dropped. In an effort to diagnose, I ripped out the ABS
controller, and it brought back the acceleration, but at a cost; she took away all of
my gauges, safety and slip systems. My dash lit up light a Christmas tree with
every idiot light imaginable. This was mildly distracting while driving, but my
attention daily was more focused on slipping and sliding my way through the
worst Long Island Winter in memory. Seriously, you have no idea how hard it is
to navigate a 300 BHP car with no limited slip differential, ABS, traction control or other
systems through multiple icy blizzards. Because of this, I wound up intentionally
avoiding her and taking the train to work in the city for much of January.
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| That's a lot of warning lights.... |
I think she started to get suspicious when I was up all
night surfing the web. I’m not gonna lie, I was in some pretty deep stuff, late
at night in the deepest bowel of the interwebs. I found myself viewing hardcore
DIY YouTube videos on hydraulic braking systems and Nissan electrical
components, I scanned some dealer technical bulletin and service guides that
had been obtained by illicit means, and finally, under an anonymous name I
plotted ways to manipulate her with other forum members in chatrooms. All this research led me to
believe I had a faulty ABS wheel speed sensor, and all I had to do was go to
the dealership to get it checked out on their diagnostic machine to figure out
which one was bad.
So I bought her to the dealership in Massapequa, which basically
looks like a day spa for cars. Its white walls, glassed off, and way to clean. They made us part ways at the front to prepare her for a day of
pampering, while I went in to go talk to a service adviser. I explained what
was wrong, what diagnostic scan she needed. They didn't understand a word of
it, and insisted she was more high maintenance than I thought. 400 dollars
worth of testing later, they came back to me and told me they had found the
problem. The entire rear end needed replacing, including all wheel hubs and
sensors, to the tune of $3000. I said no, and left, and then found out they
never reconnected my e-brake. So I went home, ripped the wheel off, put in a
new ABS sensor for 20 bucks, and she worked fine. Except the disconnected e-brake is a constant reminder of the infidelity suffered at the hands of the
stealership.
Then came the bitter January cold, which made her plastic
bits brittle, and she was feeling kind of fragile. We lost the lower engine cover to
a pothole, and her entire inner
fender well was literally shattered by a chunk of ice. 16 bucks on rockauto.com
and a few zip ties later, she was good as new. The cold did although kill the
battery in one of my TPMS sensors, and now it just blinks at me. Blink. Blink.
Blink. A constant nagging reminder that I need to buy new shoes soon, or I’ll
continue to hear about it.
For a little while there, we were doing good. She was
looking good and feeling good, and she knew it. A renewed spring was in her step, and I was once again feeling
good about our relationship. Then she started nagging me again. At this point, my dad, my brother and my friends all told me I should leave her, but I didn't want to listen to them, I was committed to making it work.
The shrill crying rattle came from the rear, and I didn't know why
- did I forget her oil change? Not give
her premium fuel? I deduced it was the anti-rattle pin, which was
actually, ironically, rattling. The only way to stop it was to quickly pull the parking
brake while driving. Fast. My first attempt to fix this was not successful, as I
lacked the tools to take off the rotors. Then my son and I went to Autozone to
purchase a breaker bar, which is not as fun as it sounds.
Saturday night, 10 pm, I settled down for a couples therapy
session. She bought her bad attitude, and lots of blame. I bought a 4-pack of
Guinness and my Dewalt cordless impact driver.
It was a long night, but after a while, I think we finally found the root of our problem. I have the rotor off, and I found this: Suffice to say I now know what was causing the rattle.
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| Think we found the problem... Hint- pins are supposed to be straight |
